


The Nearness of You/The New Normal

by grimeysociety



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Acquaintances to Lovers, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, ShieldShock - Freeform, This Author Is Going Through It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23664490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimeysociety/pseuds/grimeysociety
Summary: Darcy and Steve are quarantined together on the Avengers compound.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers
Comments: 83
Kudos: 361





	The Nearness of You/The New Normal

**Author's Note:**

> A week, maybe ten days ago, I thought "there's no way I'd write about it". Writing about a real-life situation is usually way more poetic than the event itself. I'm not making light of it, I'm not saying this is an "interesting" and therefore "entertaining" topic. People are dying. I'm writing about this because I wanted to work my way through some shit. If you end up reading this, thank you. If not, I understand. 
> 
> This is just a version of something that hasn't met its end. I hope everyone that reads this knows that I mean no offense, and I hope you're staying safe.

_I need no soft lights to enchant me_  
_If you will only grant me_  
_The right to hold you ever so tight_  
_And to feel in the night_  
_The nearness of you_ **  
\- "The Nearness of You" by Frank Sinatra**

**Day 1.**

Darcy got the email from the people higher up, the ones with actual security clearances, the ones that took her iPod years ago along with all of Jane’s research. She didn’t have anything to compare this to. Not many people would. She turned on the TV and there was nothing but the constant news coverage.

She remembered being on the subway last week and scoffing at the woman who was wearing latex gloves and a makeshift mask, a silk scarf wrapped around her head. Darcy hadn’t panic-bought anything. She had plenty of toilet paper.

She’d gone to the compound with a handful of other people during the week. It was a pretty standard week for Darcy – collecting data that she’d bring back to Jane. She’d barely unpacked over the last several months, and it wasn’t until she heard it was declared a pandemic that she finally took a look at everything surrounding her.

She called Jane on the Friday, telling her she wasn’t coming back. There wasn’t any lock down in place, but it didn’t feel right, venturing out into public. She could easily carry it across miles and miles. Jane understood, surprising Darcy by coming out of her standard mid-work stupor.

“Okay, I’ll keep you in the loop, with everything up here,” Jane said. “A lot of people went home early yesterday. We’re getting told maybe don’t come back.”

“What?” Darcy said, her heart sinking.

“We’re gonna have to work from home,” Jane said, and Darcy passed a hand over her face.

She was watching TV with the sound off, the text crawling across the bottom declaring there were 249 confirmed deaths.

“Okay,” she managed to reply.

“Which means you can’t come back, and I don’t know if I can come to you.”

“Yeah,” Darcy said, swallowing. “You know, this might be good for me. I might unpack. I might finishing knitting my scarf.”

“A lot of people are gonna get sick,” Jane said. “I need to call my mom, check she’s okay.”

Darcy thought of her parents, one in California, the other in Philly. She thought of her grandparents, and how she hadn’t spoken to any of them for months.

“Yeah, me, too,” she said eventually.

Darcy kept the news on every hour she was awake. She stayed in her place, typing away on her laptop. She sent texts and promised to catch up with relatives. She thought of her cousin whose wedding was meant to be in a handful of weeks.

-

**Day 4.**

Darcy tried to keep to a schedule, showering and eating at appropriate times. She was cycling through the same four apps on her phone. Her weekend was spent mostly on the couch and on her laptop. She started knitting again, a maroon scarf that was probably the worst excuse for knitwear imaginable, but it was something to do.

She left her rooms finally, venturing out into the common room area, seeing no-one. She glanced toward the ceiling.

“FRIDAY, I’m not the only person here, right?” she said. She dropped her voice to a mutter. “It’s not time to start painting and naming volley balls, surely?”

“You are not the only resident, and don’t call me Shirley.”

Darcy let out a sigh, wondering if Stark had possibly updated the AI to have more of a sense of humor in these dark times. She crossed her arms.

“TV on.”

The plasma screen TV switched on, showing a feed of the local news station. It was constant. Darcy wasn’t able to remember her weekend too well, but she knew it had gone by like trickling molasses. The death count was past 340. Immuno-compromised people and the elderly were being advised to stay home, but there were plenty of other people still going out like nothing had changed.

She sensed someone moving behind her, and turned her head to see Steve Rogers walking in, a frown etched on his handsome face. His jaw clenched as he came to a stop beside her, his arms folding like hers.

“Hey,” she said, and he glanced at her, face softening for all of two seconds before he tensed once more, eyes forward.

“Long time, no see,” he murmured.

“You mean, in general?” Darcy muttered, and he gave a short chuckle. “I haven’t seen anyone since Thursday night.”

“I think we’re the only ones here,” Steve said.

“You’re not heading back to the city?” Darcy asked.

He shook his head. “I asked, but it’s likely I’ll be infected and spread it around. I’ll go in if there’s some kind of Avengers-related emergency, but…”

“Shit’s not that dire?” Darcy said, and he smirked.

“Yeah, it’s hard to believe,” he said, sighing. “I remember things kinda feelin’ this way, once… but…”

“Not again?”

“Didn’t think so,” he admitted. “But what do I know?”

They watched the TV for a few minutes in silence, until Darcy glanced back at him, staring at that perfect jawline.

“Should we be standing this close to each other?”

He turned his head, blinking at her.

“You been in contact with anyone with COVID?”

“I have no idea,” Darcy admitted. “Probably. I can’t believe how flippant I was, even last week. Should I disinfect the kitchen? I mean, it’s something to do. I want to _do something_.”

She left Steve to the TV for the kitchen, and took out every cleaning product she could find, lining them all up on the counter, examining their labels. She put on gloves, wiped everything down, working in furious little circles. By the end of it, she was out of breath and not feeling any better. She was paranoid she missed something, deciding to empty one of the many fridges to start wiping everything inside.

Steve walked in after she’d been at it for an hour, and he leaned against the door frame with his head bowed.

“What’s up?” she called, and he met her gaze, blinking at her. He seemed a little out of it.

“Stay at home order. SHIELD said we gotta stay put,” he said.

Darcy moved out of the fridge, sighing. “I read somewhere that the bacteria lives on surfaces for nine days.”

“Well, I read people are drinkin’ bleach, so maybe the Internet ain’t the best source these days,” Steve said, brows hiking.

Darcy wasn’t rising to his snarky bait, though it was tempting. She gestured to the fruit bowl she’d sanitized.

“I’m gonna figure out what to do with those bananas,” she said. “I don’t want to waste anything,”

“Eat them?” Steve offered, and Darcy shot him an unamused look.

“I was thinking banana bread. Would you eat it?” she said, peeling off her rubber gloves and tossing them toward the sink. She blew a piece of hair out of her face.

“Don’t see why not,” Steve murmured. “Since I won’t be goin’ anywhere.”

He left her alone while she began to research different banana bread recipes. She thought of the lines out the door at grocery stores as she poured out a cup of flour with ease.

-

**Day 5.**

She found a piece missing of the loaf she’d left in the fridge, but she didn’t see Steve at all, except when he was out running.

She squinted at him through her parted curtains, wondering whether she should start working out. It seemed kind of pointless, but she had been constantly grazing for days.

-

**Day 6.**

“I feel weird,” Darcy said, gazing down at her phone.

She’d chosen to FaceTime Jane instead of only hearing her voice on the phone. She found herself wanting to reach out more, which was unexpected.

“Yeah, everyone does,” Jane said.

Darcy was going from relatively okay to guilty, her mood changing by the hour. She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t forever. People were coming out of this alive. Then she’d feel guilty for thinking of herself when people were dying by the thousands. She wasn’t an essential worker in danger of getting sick. She wasn’t vulnerable like so many others.

-

**Day 10.**

Darcy had her first real cry since isolating. She couldn’t escape it. She started sobbing in the mid-afternoon, unsure of what exactly triggered it.

-

**Day 11.**

“Hey,” she called, and Steve halted in the distance.

Darcy could see the air in front of her face as she breathed, her hands tucked into her jacket pocket. She shivered, envying how Steve managed to be completely unbothered by the frigid air.

Thinking of how the weather was supposed to get nicer soon only made her think of how unsure everything was. She had no idea if anyone would enjoy a normal summer.

He jogged over to her, and Darcy made a show of raising her eyebrows at him, eyes roving him.

“You look… hairier,” she said eventually.

He hadn’t shaved. He passed a hand through his hair, panting a little from exertion. He bent at the waist.

“You wanna join me?”

“And get left in the dirt?” Darcy retorted. “No, thanks. I don’t need that kind of humiliation on top of everything else.”

“We can work out in the gym.”

Darcy’s very limited experience with Steve only taught her that he was intense with every task he was set. She remembered him refusing the ice pack she tried to hand him when she was already grabbing one for Clint. She knew it was significant that he was wanting to spend any time with her at all, considering he’d lived in pseudo-isolation for years.

Darcy held his gaze for several seconds, letting out a long sigh.

“Fine.”

He smiled at her and she turned her heel, stalking off toward the main building once more.

She found him in the gym ten minutes later, doing bicep curls while he sat on a bench, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“TV on,” Darcy said, announcing her arrival.

One of the TVs above the wall of mirrors switched on, showing the channel Darcy last had on the common room plasma screen.

Steve glanced her way, not pausing his set.

“I’d rather not hear any of that,” he said, but Darcy ignored him.

“I heard we surpassed China in the number of cases,” Darcy said, sitting on one of the bikes facing the mirrors. She took out her headphones and began to untangle them. “I mean, go us. USA, always number one.”

“What, you rather we weld peoples’ doors shut?” Steve threw back, sounding irritated.

Darcy glanced up as he dropped his weights with two resounding thuds and she shrugged.

“I dunno. People are still going out. My dad’s pissed there’s no sport to watch,” she muttered. “People don’t exactly have their priorities worked out.”

“I should’ve gone back when I had the chance,” Steve muttered, surprising Darcy.

He shook his head, looking up at the TV screen.

“No supplies, no food on the fuckin’ shelves. People goin’ hungry. I lived through this already, but back then I couldn’t do anything.”

“If SHIELD need you, they know where to find you,” Darcy said.

“Yeah, I’m right here,” he muttered bitterly.

“As opposed to where, exactly?” Darcy snapped, and his eyes swung to hers. “What are you meant to be doing?”

“Movin the… the bodies, I dunno,” he retorted. “I can’t get infected, I should be helping with the jobs other people can’t do anymore.”

“You’re doing the right thing already, Steve,” Darcy said. She got off the bike, shoving the headphones away in her pocket once more, giving up. “You’re staying home, you’re helping to flatten the curve-”

“Jesus Christ, it is not like the _fuckin’ flu_!” Steve snarled, glaring up at the TV.

He was distracted and Darcy didn’t blame him. She’d been so angry, too. Frustrated beyond belief.

“No offense, but this is stupid,” she muttered to him. “I’m not gonna work out.”

Steve nodded, the TV filling their tense silence. Darcy bit her lip, feeling like she was partly to blame, since he said he didn’t want to hear the news.

“This is gonna get worse before it gets better,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Steve breathed, and he leaned over to pick up his weights again, finally getting back to it.

Darcy left him there, unsure of what else to do.

-

**Day 13.**

Darcy was lucky to get more than one thing done each day. She managed to bake cookies but spent the rest of the day staring at Facebook. She snapped her laptop shut, walking back out to the kitchen, contemplating eating everything in sight, but she knew if she did that she wouldn’t taste anything.

“Hey.”

Her head turned toward Steve and he glanced down at the plate of oatmeal cookies she was hovering above. Impulsively, she picked up the plate to hand to him, and he took it, picking up one of the cookies to take a bite.

“Good?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, chewing. “You wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

They sat on the couch, a space between them. Darcy wrapped her arms around her knees. Both of them kept interrupting _The Wizard of Oz,_ neither of them able to stop talking about coronavirus.

“Bat soup doesn’t sound right to me,” Darcy murmured. “It sounds totally made up. It just sounds _weird_ to me. Also, incredibly racist.”

“Are you a microbiologist?” Steve said, and Darcy looked at him, seeing his half-smile.

She hadn’t realized until then how much she’d missed it. She rolled her eyes.

“ _Yes_ ,” she said. “I am.”

“Then you’d know they’ve had cross-species contamination,” he went on. “There’s that tiger that had it.”

Darcy looked back at the TV, sighing. It was several minutes before they spoke again, and she’d taken out her phone to check it again.

“Remember going out?” she murmured.

“God,” Steve said, and he dropped his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes.

“I’m introverted and this is already too much for me.”

“Maybe tomorrow we’ll get some good news,” Steve muttered. “Since it’s been two weeks.”

“ _How_ has it been two weeks?” Darcy said, her palm up.

Steve cracked open an eye. “I have no idea.”

-

**Day 14.**

“The longer we do this, the sooner things can get back to normal.”

Darcy and Steve exchanged a glance before Darcy looked back at Maria Hill’s hologram that hung in the Avengers’ communications room.

“We’ll let you know if anything changes, but otherwise we’re refraining from leaving our residences until further notice.”

Darcy had been holding onto hope, but by the time Maria called them, she’d begun to sink back into the gloom. She could see Steve was fighting it, asking more about what he could do, since he was a special case.

“Cap, we can’t be complacent,” Maria said, pulling Darcy back from her thoughts. “Some experts are saying social distancing will continue for the next six months.”

“Six months?” Darcy repeated.

Maria nodded. “At least.”

The whole year was written off, then. Any plans anyone had were out the window. Any chance of reaching a goal was gone. 

“Fuck,” Darcy said, rubbing her eyes.

She was so goddamn tired all the time, no matter how long she slept in each morning. She was sick of this constant state of uncertainty.

“What we know is we’ve got each other,” Maria said, and Darcy nodded, trying to rein it in. “You’re not alone. We’re all in this together.”

Darcy didn’t trust Steve would be assured by that, but he nodded. When Maria stopped her broadcast, Steve looked at Darcy.

“Six months?” she said. “It’s only been two weeks.”

“We gotta stay positive,” he said.

“How? How are we supposed to see… a fucking _point_ to any of this? What is the point?” Darcy hissed. The emotion was coming up from her throat, her hand gesturing to the map that hung among the holofiles. “Thousands of people dying, total economic collapse? World-wide trauma?”

She let out a shuddering breath, turning her heel to leave.

“Darce,” Steve called after her, but she shook her head, her eyes on her feet.

“I need some time alone,” she yelled, not bothering to stop.

-

**Day 19.**

The days blended. Darcy felt as if she was pacing in a cage. She couldn’t stand the news anymore. If she had it on anywhere near her, she wasn’t able to concentrate. She tried to talk sense to herself but she felt herself pushing back, refusing anything but the fogginess.

Short-tempered and weary, she followed the sounds of the TV in the common room after she made herself a sad dinner of canned tomato soup with the last of her bread she’d kept in the freezer.

She fell into the seat beside Steve. He was watching _Some Like It Hot_.

“I love this movie,” Darcy said, her voice hollow.

“You know what I’m sick of?” Steve murmured, and she glanced at him.

He was keeping his beard neat, and he wore clean clothes, unlike Darcy. She hadn’t bothered washing her hair since they spoke to Maria, and her legs were past the stage of prickly. She adjusted her hair in its bun, frowning at him.

“What?”

“People calling this ‘the new normal’,” he said, smirking at her. “Ain’t nothin’ about this is normal. I don’t know how you can call it normal when the laws of nature don’t even apply to it. People having to play God… deciding who lives and dies.”

Darcy looked away, thinking, when something on the far wall caught her eye. There was a clear dent in the plaster, about the size of Steve’s fist.

“What happened there, bud?” she asked quietly, pointing.

“Trump.”

“Huh,” she said. “Makes sense. Though I thought you weren’t watching the news.”

“How can I not watch that guy when he has so many intelligent things to say,” he deadpanned.

Darcy felt her laughter bubble up, and she let out a snort before she dissolved into a giggle. She shut her eyes, the mirth making her lose herself in the process. She bent over, clutching her stomach, laughing so much she felt tears spring in her eyes.

When she finally resurfaced from it, she could hear Steve chuckling along with her, his teeth showing.

It seemed to break the spell, and Darcy was giggling to the rest of the movie. She didn’t pick up her phone again until she went to bed, choosing to set an alarm for the following morning.

-

**Day 22.**

Darcy kept doing data entry, checking in with the labs in New York, checking Facebook for any updates from her friends on there.

She stopped watching the news. She knew she’d reached her capacity for absorbing it constantly.

She and Steve watched a movie or two each night after dinner. Darcy poured herself wine and Steve sipped beer. It didn’t mean they were able to forget the outside world, but it was better to do this than what Darcy wasn’t doing before.

She knew she could be far worse company for Steve, if three weeks together was anything to go by.

-

**Day 23.**

Darcy held the front of her hair, trying to gauge exactly where to put the scissors. She knew this was a bad idea, but she tried to tell herself that impromptu haircuts were the least dangerous thing she could subject herself to at a time like this.

She probably should have hunted for a better, sharper pair of scissors, not the herb ones from the common room kitchen.

She took a deep breath, not overthinking it any more than a couple seconds, chopping her hair straight across.

It took even less time for the reality of it to sink in, the handful of hair she had, her scissors still in her other hand. Her eyes widened in the mirror.

“Oh, no,” she whispered. “That’s so much worse.”

She went to find Steve. A few weeks ago, she would have pretended nothing happened and probably hid away until she could play it off as the stupid mistake it undoubtedly was.

She knocked on his door, hearing him move inside and a few seconds later he appeared in the doorway, eyes going straight to where Darcy pointed.

“How bad is it?” she said. “Don’t lie.”

“It’s –”

“ _Don’t_ lie,” Darcy said, pointing at him. “It’s fucking awful.”

“It’s fixable,” Steve amended.

After a few seconds, he bit his cheek, glancing away. Darcy groaned.

“Christ, _what_ did you use?” he said, lifting a hand to brush the shorn tresses.

“Is it fixable, or are you just gonna laugh at me until it grows out?” Darcy snapped, and Steve shook his head.

“Look, just…”

He moved a little closer, his fingers still on her forehead, and he went silent, assessing. Then he simply tucked her bangs under her hair.

“Easy.”

“Thanks,” Darcy said, and he dropped his hand to his side. “You had dinner yet?”

Earlier that day they’d received a non-contact delivery of some supplies. Darcy had managed to not eat all her provisions, rationing the potato chips like they were flakes of gold, but there was no way she’d be eating soup again.

“It’s the fat days,” she said, when Steve shook his head, leaning against the doorframe, copying Darcy. She had her hands behind her back, unsure of what to do with them.

She was reminded of high school and leaning against her locker, not that she had the opportunity to talk with any cute boys like this all those years ago.

“Fat days?” Steve repeated, and Darcy nodded. “And the lean days are -?”

“Crackers and Campbell’s soup three times a day.”

“Y’know, I used to live like that all the time,” Steve said, leaning toward Darcy, smirking down at her.

“People used to get polio, Steve,” Darcy countered. “And you were in the ice when we walked on the moon.”

“You weren’t even alive then!” he said, and they both laughed.

“I was there, in spirit,” Darcy said, shrugging a shoulder. “I was gonna make spaghetti and meatballs.”

They ate in the kitchen, sharing a bottle of red wine. Darcy liked how happy she seemed to make Steve by such a simple gesture as making him dinner.

Steve licked his fork as he asked, “What prompted the homemade haircut?”

Darcy petted her hair self-consciously, but the bangs were still mercifully covered by her side-part.

“My cousin got married,” she said.

Steve blinked at her. “Right, so… _bangs_.”

“It sounded better in my head,” Darcy muttered, picking up her wine glass to sip. “Clearly.”

She stared at him for several long seconds as she drained her glass.

“We can’t all grow a beard.”

Steve smirked, leaning his elbow on the counter. His long sweatshirt sleeve covered his balled fist he put to his cheek.

“It suits you,” she went on. “Weirdly.”

“Weirdly?”

“Yeah, I’ve only ever seen you bare as a baby’s butt,” Darcy muttered, and Steve snorted. “I bet your skin is as soft as a baby’s ass, too.”

“You think?” he murmured, and Darcy felt her face flush.

It didn’t help that she probably overdid it with the wine, but he wasn’t looking away from her to relieve any of the sudden tension she felt. She was probably projecting, since she was pretty sure she was touch-starved.

She drew in a breath, biting her lip. She put her glass aside and moved closer to him, feeling that impulsiveness from earlier. If it was just to break up the mundanity, it didn’t matter, right?

She lifted her hand, holding her breath as she brushed Steve’s cheek with her knuckles, in the space of skin she could reach above his beard. His eyes were trained on her face as she stroked slowly up and then down.

“Verdict?”

“Baby’s ass,” Darcy murmured, and Steve chuckled.

His hand was resting beside her thigh, and upon realizing this, Darcy’s stomach flipped. She drew back, grabbing the wine bottle to pour herself some more, just to occupy herself for a few seconds while she tried to pull herself together.

“What movie do you wanna watch later?” she asked. “Or now? Since later is now.”

“Your pick, I picked last time,” he murmured.

The softness of his voice was too much of a comfort. Darcy pushed aside the tide she could see in her peripheral vision, turning toward him with a little smile.

“You’re gonna regret that,” she said, and he smirked at her.

“Really? How?”

They watched _Legally Blonde_ and it turned out Steve didn’t regret it. He laughed at a few jokes, and Darcy loved the sound. It was a treasure among the rest of it, of all the days blending together.

She didn’t know how it was possible, being who they were, for that month to be the longest of their lives.

She let him pick something else to watch next, and she polished off the wine, slumping in her seat. She dozed off at one point, and she woke later, with a hand on her shoulder.

It felt warm, and so inviting. She blinked up at Steve, who was knelt in front of her. She’d managed to lie down on her side on the couch. The credits were playing on the TV and Darcy squinted.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said, beginning to sit up. She rubbed her eyes. “What’d you watch?”

“ _Legally Blonde 2_ ,” Steve said, and Darcy chuckled.

He didn’t move from his seat on the floor and Darcy sensed there was more on his mind, like always. He wasn’t always open to talking, unfortunately.

“Your cousin that got married,” he murmured, and Darcy nodded. “How’d they manage that?”

“They went down to the courthouse. The bride wore white latex gloves,” Darcy said.

Steve dropped his chin to his chest, letting out a breath of a laugh.

“People used to get married like that, race down to the office,” he murmured. “Brides in a hurry, during the war.”

“I don’t know why she didn’t just wait,” Darcy said. “She could’ve had the big wedding she originally planned, with all the happy people…”

“Maybe she just wanted to get married,” Steve said, shrugging a shoulder. “People get romantic in weirder times.”

“People get dumber, too,” Darcy muttered.

“Yeah, that, too,” Steve said.

Darcy glanced at the TV, seeing a trailer begin to play for something else on Netflix. She thought about dragging herself to bed, and it didn’t sound fun at all.

Her eyes swung to Steve’s and she took a deep breath.

“Can I have a hug?”

“Sure,” he said, and he moved toward her without hesitation.

He still knelt on the floor, between Darcy’s legs as she pulled him into her arms by his sweatshirt, her hands gliding up to meet his neck. He folded his arms around her as Darcy gripped him tight in return, closing her eyes as she went still.

“I missed this,” she whispered. “Fuck, I _missed this_.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” he whispered back, his hand on her back stroking her idly.

His smell enveloped her, along with his warmth. It was a crime that she hadn’t done this sooner, because a Steve Rogers cuddle was exactly what the doctor ordered.

“Can we do this more?” she whispered, and she felt him nod.

They broke apart and she felt her cheeks heat, a self-consciousness coming over her. She managed to stand along with him, offering her hand.

“Goodnight.”

“’Night, Darce,” he murmured, smiling down at her as they shook hands.

She walked out of the common room, her heart hammering in her chest.

-

**Day 24.**

Darcy shaved for the first time in weeks. She hugged Steve when she saw him after her shower, her hair still damp from washing it. She was letting it air dry, frizz and all. She couldn’t remember the last time she wore makeup, so she didn’t care if he saw her looking crazy.

She kept her bangs tucked under her hair as she worked, pouting at the carnage in the mirror later, deciding if she needed another chop in the next six months she’d have to ask Steve to help.

Thinking about possibly cutting Steve’s hair made her stomach flip. She’d stand behind him as he draped a towel over his shoulders. She’d learn how to do it properly for him, if he let her do that.

-

**Day 26.**

Darcy glanced up from her laptop when Steve knocked on her door.

She’d been keeping her place open to let fresh air in, wrapping up her lower half in a thick knitted blanket to combat the cold. They’d got into the habit of seeing one another throughout the day, so it wasn’t unusual to find him in her apartment.

“You got a second?”

“I’m _only_ busy these days,” Darcy said. She was playing Solitaire, which he could probably see in the reflection on her pair of reading glasses. She pulled them off, putting her laptop aside. “What’s up?”

“Can you record me for that charity I told you about?”

At dinner the night before, Steve told Darcy he planned on recording himself reading a children’s book to share with the public. Since schools were staying closed for the rest of the year in most places, parents were constantly hoping to find ways to educate their own kids in entertaining ways.

Darcy nodded, suddenly excited. She took his phone and Steve sat on her couch while Darcy crouched to record him.

“I’m keeping this horizontal,” Darcy murmured, her finger hovering over the red record icon. “You ready?”

Steve nodded and she pressed it, biting her lip as he opened the book to begin reading. When he finished several minutes later, Darcy moved to sit beside him to watch it together to check everything was seamless.

“Maybe I should've shaved,” Steve murmured, and Darcy chuckled.

“I told you, it’s a good look,” she said, and he turned his head slightly to look her in the eye. “No-one’s expecting you to be the same.”

They watched the Queen Elizabeth II’s address to Great Britain for Darcy to drive her point home.

“See? Wouldn’t it be weirder to act like everything is fine?” she said, and Steve nodded, sighing.

“Before I was in the ice, she wasn’t even Queen.”

“No, _really_?” Darcy said with mock-surprise. “I had no idea. Remind me again how you’re a literal dinosaur.”

“Hi,” Steve said, holding out his hand for Darcy to shake, and she took it, giggling. “I’m Steve Rogers. I’m one hundred years old.”

“Nice to meet you, Steve,” Darcy replied. “Are you done with my AV skills so I can get back to more pressing things?”

Steve got up from the couch, stretching. “I guess so.”

-

**Day 27.**

“One. C’mon, Darce.”

“I hate this,” Darcy groaned. “I hate this so much. It’s not fair, you make this look so _easy_.”

“I used to not be able to do it,” he retorted, but Darcy was glad he wasn’t making fun of her in her vulnerable state.

She was straining on the gym floor, her arms shaking as she slowly lifted herself, everything aching. She hadn’t exercised in weeks and she was paying for it in a big way now. She knew she’d be sore for days, but she liked the encouragement, no matter how annoying it was as well.

“You can do it. Yes!”

One push-up, and when she did it she gave a shout.

“Oh, fuck you!”

Steve began to laugh as she slumped forward, dropping flat on her face with a sigh, feeling sweat break out all over her face and back.

“That was so good!”

“Shut up,” Darcy gasped, and she rolled onto her back, glaring up at Steve.

He offered his hand and she took it and was wrenched upright. She gripped his arm for support, shaking her head.

“I’m not doing that again.”

“Okay, but you should be proud of yourself,” he said.

She shoved him away good-naturedly. “I’m gonna be pissed when I can’t move tomorrow.”

She knew why she decided to join Steve in the gym. She was reminded again of how she was one of the lucky ones. She’d learned that morning that her cousin that got married had been laid off, after five years in the same office.

Darcy decided to stubbornly treasure what she had, even though everything else made so little sense.

She went to sit on a bike and began to pedal with her earphones in while Steve lifted some weights. She tried to keep her mind on her own task instead of how Steve’s body flexed, his muscles under his skin drawing all her attention away from any semblance of sanity.

Steve was saying something to her she couldn’t hear and she ripped an earphone out, squinting at him.

“What?”

“I can hear that from over here, you wanna ruin your ears?”

“Shut up, you could hear it even if it was all the way down,” Darcy retorted, but she was dialing the volume back with several presses of a button on the side of her phone. “I’m gonna lose my hearing eventually, anyway.”

“So what you’re sayin’ is you’re an audiologist, too?” Steve said, smirking at her as he lifted a dumbbell with ease, eyes glued to hers. “Along with bein’ a microbiologist.”

“Yeah, I did a double-major,” Darcy said airily.

She paused her music, eyes swinging to the ceiling.

“FRIDAY, can you just play my music instead through the speakers?”

“I don’t think I deserve that,” Steve said, putting up a hand.

“I think it’s exactly what you deserve,” Darcy said, smiling at him.

Steve made a face when the strumming guitar burst through the speakers above their heads. He tilted his head to the side.

“I know this song,” he said, sounding vaguely surprised.

It was _Barracuda_ by Heart.

“I think Sam’s played this before.”

“How is Sam?” Darcy asked.

“Fine, as far as I can tell,” Steve said, sobering a little. “Fine as anyone can be, I guess.”

Darcy nodded, knowing what he meant. Every time she asked that question, a collective sigh would come over everyone within earshot. Her grandparents did that last night when she called them as making dinner.

“Bucky?” Darcy asked, and Steve nodded.

“He’s okay. Better than I expected, honestly,” he went on.

He put his weights away, picking up his towel to pat his face. He had a healthy glow to him despite everything he was feeling.

“That’s good,” Darcy murmured. She’d stopped pedaling long ago.

“What about your folks?” he asked.

Darcy shrugged a shoulder. “Oh, you know. Not great.”

He nodded, a weak smile forming. “And you?”

“Could be worse,” she said, trying to smile back at him.

There was a beat and he turned away to pick up his water. Darcy cleared her throat, stepping off the bike.

“I’ve got you,” she added.

He looked over at her again, another smile forming on his face, but it seemed natural. He came toward her, and Darcy lifted her arms to hug him.

When she pulled back, she made a face.

“God, you’re… dripping with sweat,” she muttered. “That was really touching for all of five seconds…”

“Maybe I should work on my charm,” Steve replied, and Darcy grabbed her own towel, wiping her arms.

-

**Day 28.**

“What… the _fuck_ are you… _doing?!”_ Steve yelled.

Darcy almost dropped the coffee she was carrying from the kitchen. Steve’s arms were wide, his eyes much the same. He was horrified and furious, and of course he was watching the news. Darcy frowned, her eyes swinging to the TV.

“I read once that you jumped out of a plane without a parachute behind enemy lines in Italy to save prisoners of war about seventy years ago,” Darcy said.

Her comment seemed break the surface, Steve’s eyes meeting hers.

“What’s your point,” he snapped.

“I’m saying you’re making it easier every day to understand that literally every rumor about you is true,” Darcy said.

She sat down beside him.

“Trump’s tryin’ to make it out like the World Health Organization is tryin’ to make him look bad,” Steve muttered bitterly. “He wants to cut all funding to ’em.”

“If you break the TV, it’s one less nice TV we have, and I’m guessing Maria will send you the bill.”

“I’m not overreacting.”

“I didn’t say that,” Darcy said, her voice softer. “But I’m also not going to be the voice of reason. I haven’t got the authority on that, with my bangs situation.”

“I really can’t notice it,” Steve said, and Darcy appreciated his tact.

He muted the TV instead of listening to the rest of the report on the press conference. Then came the first deep sigh Darcy would hear that day.

“Everyone knows about Italy, by the way,” Darcy said eventually, and Steve blinked at her. “It’s like, eighth grade American history. I was being an ass.”

Steve rubbed his eyes.

“I haven’t seen the shield in action, by the way,” Darcy added. “Considering the fact that I’ve been around you this long without actually experiencing vibranium, it’s kinda weird.”

“Weird?” Steve repeated. “You wanna see it?”

Steve handed it to her five minutes later, after Darcy followed him back to his apartment and put her coffee down on his bedside table. He’d been storing it beside his bed against the wall.

“It’s heavy,” she murmured. She took a second to tighten the strap to her arm, slowly crouching behind it.

Steve smiled at her.

“Suits you.”

“Yeah?” she said, standing up straighter again, making an exaggerated groan when she hitched it a little higher. “Christ. I’d need to work on bulking up my arms if I was going to actually carry this thing.”

She put it down against the wall once more, flicking her finger against it. There was low hum to follow and it seemed to go on forever.

Darcy sat beside him on his bed, the mattress dipping.

“What’re you thinking about?” Darcy asked, touching his arm with her shoulder.

She glanced down at his hands in his lap.

“Italy,” he murmured. “How uncertain everything is.”

“If my nana dies, the last time I would have seen her was Christmas before last,” Darcy muttered. She bit her lip, letting it go. Her eyes prickled. “And that’d be so sad, since I had so many opportunities to see her…”

“She’s not gonna die if she stays safe,” Steve whispered, and Darcy forced herself to nod.

“If you’re about to tell me to think positive –”

“I ain’t,” Steve said.

He took her hand in his, resting it on his thigh. They both stared at the shield.

“Everything’s gonna change,” Darcy said. “I don’t want it to. Do you… think we’ll change?”

“I dunno,” Steve murmured. “But we’ll be different.”

He hung his head, closing his eyes for a moment. Darcy watched the side of his face, seeing his jaw clench. When he blinked back to his bedroom, he seemed tired.

“Things are already different,” he said. He stroked the back of her palm with his thumb. “I got you.”

“We wouldn’t’ve got to know each other without this quarantine,” Darcy said.

She’d thought about that a lot lately, what she’d be getting out of this experience. Not a lot, except maybe she wouldn’t take little things for granted anymore. She’d hold someone instead of worrying about being vulnerable. She’d smile at strangers more, maybe.

“I think we would’ve,” Steve murmured, his lip curling.

Darcy’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? When was the last time you were down in the depths of the labs at the Tower?”

Steve chuckled, his eyes crinkling and Darcy felt herself smiling back at him in spite of it all.

“Takes a fucking global pandemic for you to notice me,” she muttered. “That’s good to know.”

“You really think so?” Steve threw back. “When I know for a fact that you’re the one who tasered Thor within seconds of meeting him way, way back? Every moment I’ve been with you confirms every rumor I ever heard, too.”

Darcy’s lips parted and Steve grinned wider.

“He told you about that?”

“Yeah. ‘Cause I asked him about you about six months ago, when you moved into here,” Steve said.

“What other rumors are there?”

“They’re all bad,” Steve said, his eyes falling to Darcy’s mouth.

“Really?”

Darcy held his gaze for several seconds, aware of where their skin met, the air seeming to change between them. Her stomach flipped and she finally averted her gaze.

She took her hand away, getting up from the mattress abruptly, her heartbeat quickening. She was about to ruin a perfect moment, and she closed her eyes for a second to steady herself, her back to Steve.

She spun around.

“You really mean that? We would’ve been friends, or – or at least known each other?” she babbled, and Steve blinked at her, nodding.

“Yeah, yeah, I mean that –”

She took hold of either side of his face and kissed him, a quick press to his lips. She broke away immediately, knowing she’d gone bug-eyed. She could blame a lot of things for that particular rash decision, but it all came down to the same thing in the end.

She wanted to kiss Steve.

They stared at one another for a few seconds and Darcy swallowed, searching his face for some sign that she’d completely misread this, but he was the one to go in for more, his head tilting as he slanted his mouth over hers.

She sighed into it, closing her eyes as her mouth opened to his for his tongue to sweep inside. His hand came up to take hold of the back of her head, pulling her by the hip into his lap.

They rode the wave of each kiss together, hands in each other’s hair, hands on their bodies as they peeled clothes up and off one another. They tussled on the bedspread for an eternity before Steve pushed inside Darcy with a ragged breath, their foreheads pressed together.

It was slow at first, both of them testing the waters, and then Darcy sighed into that, too, being completely wrecked by Steve, both of them shivering by the end of it, the pleasure seeming to spill out of every one of Darcy’s pores as they rocked together.

Much later, Steve’s face was resting between Darcy’s neck and her shoulder, his lips brushing her skin as he spoke.

“You want some chocolate?”

Darcy stroked his hair with her fingers, smiling lazily.

“I thought Easter was cancelled.”

“I think I have a Hershey bar somewhere,” he murmured, sitting up.

Darcy stayed lying down, watching Steve as he leaned across her to rummage in his drawers. He held up the promised bar, plus a little bag of chocolate eggs.

“You been holding out on me, Steven?” Darcy said, and Steve smiled down at her, moving in for another kiss, their noses brushing.

“In a lotta ways…”

-

**Day 32.**

They drove beyond the edge of the property until they reached a hill and Steve parked at the bottom of it, both of them jumping out to walk up it hand in hand.

When they reached the top, the wind was whipping Darcy’s hair into her face and Steve tucked some of it behind her ear, smiling down at her.

Darcy wrapped her arms around his middle, Steve’s lips brushing her forehead as they looked down at what they could see. There were birds, the road leading back toward the highway that went into the city. If Darcy squinted, she could make out a plane in the distance.

“Are we gonna be okay?” she asked.

She pulled back a little to look up at Steve. He rose a hand to brush her cheek, before taking her chin between two fingers.

“Well, whatever happens, I got you,” he said. “And that’s gotta mean something.”

He leaned down to kiss her and Darcy closed her eyes, breathing deeply, feeling a little safer already.

**Author's Note:**

> [my Tumblr](http://grimeysociety.tumblr.com/)


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